Just a quick update to say I'm making progress. I finally finished my short story, and I actually really like it. I felt like I wrote things I didn't like a couple of times during this course (character description, screenplay skeleton...), just to have something on paper which fulfilled the assignment, but I'm never satisfied with that. And I decided I didn't want to hate the assignment which is supposed to be our 'masterpiece' of the semester, so I scrapped the idea I'd committed to and just wrote a whole new story, which I like much better. And the writing process went the way it does when I actually have inspiration - when my 'Muse' is talking to me, so to speak. Meaning I just started writing, changing certain small things around on the way, but never losing my train of thought and never questioning 'what's the best way to say this?'... and didn't look up until I had filled three or four pages and was trying to find a way to end the thing. That's the way I write, in short, intense bursts, and then after I've filled a few pages it's like the 'bubble' pops and I'm back to analyzing my word choices and such again. That's why I don't know if I could ever write a book, because I can't maintain that concentration, that period of brilliance, over an extended period. But now I'm rambling. My point was, it feels like I finally got 'me' back again, instead of just writing crap because I had an assignment to do and said I was going to do it about one particular topic. So hooray for me.

Changing the subject, my Spanish oral is in two and a half hours, but I'm actually not that nervous. A few of us practiced for it this morning and it didn't go too badly. My main problem is 'talking myself into a corner' by getting myself into a sentence which I don't remember all the necessary vocabulary for. That's when I throw in Dutch words (usually prepositions or other 'function words'), out of panic that the sentence is 'stalling'. I know all the tenses, all the grammar, all the structural things - I just don't always remember the actual words. What's weird is, it seems like my brain only needs one repetition of words I knew before - if I've heard the word in question this semester, even once, I probably do have it in my active vocabulary again. But six years' worth of Spanish vocabulary can't be made up in one semester, so I'm understandably still a bit lacking. But I know what a few of the questions are likely to be, thanks to the two people in our study group who had theirs this morning, so I'm currently practicing by writing out answers to those and, amazingly, I'm able to circumlocute pretty well; I haven't needed the dictionary at all.

(I can't use any accented words on this website or I get a bunch of funny symbols - anyone know how to correct that? - so forgive me for my horrible Anglicization of the Spanish:)

Que quieres hacer en el futuro?

Quiero hacer un programa doctoral en linguistica en la universidad de Georgetown, y despues de eso quiero volverme especialista de idiomas de la Agencia Nacional de Seguridad en los EEUU.

Porque?

Pues, no quiero ofenderte con esta respuesta, pero no se puede hacer mucho con un diploma de linguistica fuera de traducir o ensenar. Esas cosas son perfectamente bienes, pero quiero hacer algo menos 'normal', mas emocionante... algo que es diferente cada dia, sabes?

Si pudieras hacer tu estudio otra vez, que cambiarias?

No cambiaria nada de mi estudio, porque soy muy contenta con mi decision a estudiar linguistica, pero si pudiera cambiar algo... habria hecho dos programas diferentes de intercambio en vez de ir dos veces al mismo pais... y habria descubrido mi segundo equipo de nadar en mi primer ano en vez de mi tercer ano... y no habria permitido que mi espanol se vuelve tan malo. :)

Que vas a hacer con las vacaciones?

Voy a casa! Y estoy muy feliz porque esto es mi primera Navidad en casa en tres anos, porque he estado en Holanda cada ano desde 2002. No puedo esperar a ver mis padres y hermanita, y conducir mi coche, y comer comida Mexicana...

Anyway, it's going to be that sort of thing, so I'll probably be fine.

I'm also listening to "No me ames" (Marc Anthony and J.Lo) on repeat. For some reason, this particular song reminds me of how much I used to love this language and how good I used to be at it. I'm really glad I signed up for that advanced conversational class next semester. I don't want to let it go again.

Anyway, I'll go back to practicing now, but I'll be really glad when the oral is over, since that means I'll only have four more things to do: complete my final creative writing portfolio, finish writing my linguistics paper, study for my linguistics final, and finish the last few loose ends on the HUM 301 (thesis course) requirements, like the journal of Jocelyn's and my meetings.

Two weeks, exactly.