Update. No sign of Mr. Posterior Orifice. His clothes are still sitting there in a soggy heap right where I left them. Nice. Wonder if it would be mean to take revenge with, say, candle wax? Those stains never come out. Just ask Scott.

I, on the other hand, made the not-so-smart choice (luck of the draw...) of hijacking the one machine with something wrong with the spin cycle. I just went back down there to get my clothes and they are wetter than those in the Posterior Orifice's pile. Luckily, there was another machine free, so I just shoved them in there - short cycle, no detergent - and so if I go back in 52 minutes, they should be quite a bit drier, thanks to the centrifuge.

Yes, did I mention? 260 people. 5 washing machines. No dryers. Just drying racks in your apartment. Who thought of that wonderful system?