Current Music: Marco Borsato - "Margherita"

No Ilse for me, or for P, and as I predicted, he was NOT happy… LOL. Oh well, he’ll have guilt-trip material on his parents for life!

S’s grandmother passed away… he wanted to go home for the funeral but the tickets were too expensive at such short notice. It’s sad… I was having bad dreams before I left that something would happen to my family while I was gone. Oh well, if it does, nothing I can do, but still. Anyway, S had been on the phone with his mom and I could tell someone had died, but when I asked, he didn’t want to tell me anything. But his cousin let it slip when he called. Oh yes – his cousin called at some godforsaken hour of the night – I didn’t have my glasses on and couldn’t see the clock, but it was dark – and said they’d found a cheaper flight and could I wake S up. So I did, and he said ‘tell him not to worry about it’. Damn, why does the phone have to be in my room, it’s never for me. Everyone calls me on my cell except American family, and they never call anyway. I haven’t even spoken to my sister in four months. Anyway, I’m afraid I was pretty rude to his cousin… I said something along the lines of “it’s the middle of the night over here, we’re sleeping”… Oh well, he doesn’t know me and is never going to, so what does it matter?

New subject. I remember D telling me a long time ago that “Margherita” was his favorite song by Marco Borsato, and since then I’ve heard that same opinion from other Dutch people. So I listened to it again and wow… now that I can understand it, I definitely see why. The lyrics are more difficult in places than other songs by him and since it was a slow song, I never really listened to it. But a few days ago I did and now I love it. No real point in putting the lyrics here without translating them, so I did, but be warned, they’re not half as pretty in English. This is giving me a whole new respect for interpreters, haha! (I have a translating class next block… this is good practice. :)) Anyway, it just doesn’t ‘feel’ like it should be capitalized, so it isn’t.

in de verte spreekt een stem / in the distance there speaks a voice
die ik herken van onze ruzies / that I recognize from our arguments
over kleine misverstanden / about small misunderstandings
over grote desillusies / about large disillusions (???)
en ik hoor de kille klanken / and I hear the cold sounds
van jouw ingehouden woede / of your suppressed rage
maar wat kan ik meer dan janken / but what can I do besides sob
als ik dit niet kon vermoeden? / if I couldn’t have suspected this?

In een waas hoor ik je zeggen / in a daze I hear you say
dat je alles op wilt geven / that you’re giving up everything
dat je alles met je meeneemt / that you’re taking everything with you
wat me lief is in dit leven / that means anything to me in this life
en ik luister hoe jouw woorden / and I listen to how your words
langzaam opgaan in de zinnen / slowly grow into the sentences
die me treffen als een bliksem / that strike me like a lightning bolt
van vernietigende kracht / of devastating power.

deze kilte maakt me gek / this chill makes me crazy
en dit gevoel is angstaanjagend / and this feeling is terrifying
maar je woorden malen verder but your words grind on
en m‘n ogen kijken vragend / and my eyes watch, questioning
waarom zei je mij niet eerder / why didn’t you tell me sooner
dat je zo van me vervreemd was? / that I was such a stranger to you?
waarom sprak je over liefde / why did you talk about love
als je nooit van mij gehouden hebt? / if you never really loved me?

Ik verlies het van de wanhoop / I lose it from the dispair
en ik voel m’n tranen branden / and i feel my tears burning
en ik zou niets liever willen / and i want nothing more
dan m’n hoofd weer in jouw handen / than my head in your hands again
maar wat tot een uur geleden / but what until an hour ago
nog zo veilig heeft geleken / seemed so secure
is ‘n hele grote leugen / turned out to be a big lie
en ‘n kaartenhuis gebleken / and a house of cards.

Het is net of iemand anders / it’s like someone else
in jouw lichaam is gekropen / has crawled into your body
en ik heb niet eens gemerkt / and i didn’t even notice
dat ie naar binnen is geschopen / that he had kicked his way in
om jouw liefde uit te wissen / to erase your love
en m’n wereld de vernielen / and destroy my world.
wil er niemand me vertellen / will somebody please tell me
dat ik alles heb gedroomd? / that i’ve just dreamed it all?

Mooi liedje… sad, but still beautiful. I think everybody has had someone like that in their life… or they’ve been someone like that… or known someone like that…

I wrote to Dr. Matheny yesterday asking about my credits, now that I know for sure exactly what I’ll be taking in the third and fourth blocks. Hopefully he can figure out ways to transfer these wacko classes onto the UF system. And I hope I can actually get real CREDIT for some of this stuff, credits I NEED, instead of just elective credit – because God knows I’ll have enough of that, LOL.

I have absolutely nothing to do today. My life is so boring… LOL. No, it’s just that I don’t have class every day anymore, so I have less to occupy me.